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Scripture Reading:  Proverbs 1:8-16

Dating:  The Protection of Purity (#2)

(If you love Me, you will follow Me)

Intro.

1.  Continue studying the Bible about young people, self-control, lust and “appropriate relationship affection for pre-marital couples.”

    -(Review of Part 1)-

2.  Dating is a new experience that God wants you to enjoy in purity, with responsibility, Eccl. 11:9-10; 1 Jno. 3:3.

3.  The world’s view & God’s view on dating are vastly different:

  a.  World says:  “If it feels good, do it” (Epicureans, 1 Cor. 15:32).

  b.  God says:  Flee youthful lusts & protect your purity, 2 Tim. 2:22.

4.  Lesson on self-control, lust & appropriate relationship affection for pre-marital couples. 

5.  Three people to be concerned about when you date:  God, the other person & yourself.  You must please God in all things (2 Cor. 5:9) Rom. 12:1; Col. 3:1.

  a.  Young people need to listen, respect & learn God’s will on this subject, Prov. 7:1-5.

  b.  Young people:  This kind of teaching is designed to help protect your heart!  (Psa. 119:9; Prov. 4:23; 1 Pet. 5:8)

-WARNINGS & ENCOURAGEMENTS FROM GOD-

I.  “DO YOU WANT TO GO ON A DATE?”  (What is moral?)

  A.  Pressures & Boundaries of Dating.

    1.  Holding hands:  is it sinful?  No

    2.  First kiss: is it sinful?  Depends...

    3.  The first hug:  is it sinful?  Depends...

    4.  What about going farther (long kiss, long embrace, etc. – causes lust to build); is it sinful?  Yes.  Rom. 12:1 (These actions don’t make you an adult!)

      a.  What are you trying to prove: You’re a man?  Approval?  Acceptance?  Popularity?  To please our friends? 

      b.  To go farther &/or to see how far you can go is choosing to be drawn into situations where you lose self-respect…lose self-control:  Lust, lasciviousness & fornication.  (Eph. 5:3)

      c.  Illus. Story of the two roses.  Moral:  Girls, don’t pass yourself around to every guy; and, worldly guys always want a fresh one.

  B.  Dating Decisions.  (SS 2:7; 8:8-9)

    1.  “Healthy dating relationships aren’t just about finding the right person; they’re about being the right person—conducting oneself in ways that reflect God’s character” (Shawn McMullen, “Dating relationship-when God is in control”).

    2.  Dating is a matter of respect:  Showing it & demanding it.

    3.  Attracting the opposite sex:  How do I get a date?

      a.  Not by drawing worldly attention to yourself (with immodest clothing, profane speech & immoral conduct).

      b.  By being moral, respectful, friendly, decent & kind…you will attract those who have similar interests. 

      c.  You may also attract some who don’t, who want to test you – “a challenge” – etc.  (Will you be able to know the difference?!)

    4.  When you date:  What to do?  Where to go?  When to be there?

      a.  Don’t put yourself in sinful or tempting situations (late night, alone in the car, at home, etc.), 1 Cor. 10:13 (Gen. 39:12); Parents, don’t put them in that situation.

      b.  Don’t think you can’t be tempted or that you can stop whenever you want:  You can get to a point of no return!  Stop it before it starts!  (Is it love or is it lust?)

      c.  Guard your body from being used for the devil’s purposes (Prov. 6:27) 

        1)  Is God’s will on sexuality only about “protection?”  “Performance?”  Safe sex?   No!  God’s will is that you guard your heart!  (1 Ths. 4:3)

        2)  Abstinence is God’s commandment!  The best form of birth control!  (STDs…1 Ths. 5:22).  (What part of “no” don’t you understand?!)

        3)  If you haven’t, you can repent (Lk. 7:37, 50).

  C.  Can you Stop, Really?  (Reality checks) (Don’t go there!  1 Ths. 5:22)

    1.  What a guy says to a girl:

      a.  “If you love me you’ll let me.”  (“You don’t love me because you won’t let me.”)  (cf. Oranges) – Heb. 12:16

      b.  “How can it be so wrong when it feels so right?!”  (Gal. 6:7-8)

      c.  “You’re so beautiful…I just can’t help myself.”

      d.  He will use flattery (to gain an advantage to fulfill his desires).

    2.  A girl say/does to a guy:

      a.  It’s about what she wears, how she moves, a touch, a glance, a flirt, where she stands & where she sits (cf. Prov. 7:7).

      b.  The seduction of flattery & flesh, peer pressure & popularity (Prov. 7:5, 15-18, 21-22).  “I’m the only virgin left!”  Don’t believe it – it’s not true!

    3.  Be sure you are being desired for the right reason: (When they talk, do they look you in the eye?) – Gal. 4:17

    4.  Both need to apply the brakes…but, don’t go down that road to start with!  (Balance it, Eccl. 11:9).

II.  THE PROTECTION OF PURITY:

  A.  Protect your Soul, Psa. 119:9 (11); Job 31:1; Rom. 6:23.

  B.  Protect your Body, 1 Cor. 6:12-20.

    1.  Someone says:  “But God made me this way!”  Exactly!  So follow His instructions for godly living (2 Pet. 1:3).

    2.  Rom. 1:27 – STDs (can lead to cancer); unwanted pregnancies…

  C.  Protect your Influence, 1 Cor. 15:33-34; 1 Pet. 2:11-12.

  D.  Protect your Happiness, SS 8:6 (Phil. 4:8).

  E.  Protect your Future, Heb. 12:14-17.

    1.  Pre-marital sex is based on immediate pleasures of the flesh.

    2.  Pre-marital sex causes bitterness of heart (sell your purity for a moment of passion, Heb. 11:25).

    3.  Premarital sex can cause lifelong regrets & many sorrows; & physical miseries (herpes, chlamydia, etc.).

Conclusion

   No defilement…no regrets, 2 Cor. 11:2.  If there is sin, it can be cleansed!  (Acts 22:16; 8:22)