Scripture Reading: Hosea 11:1-9
Coping With An Unfaithful Child
Intro.
1. It is common to see faithful Christian parents struggling with the painful reality of an unfaithful child.
2. Parents are often bewildered (why and how did this happen?) and carry a burden of responsibility and regret throughout life.
3. What does the Bible say to parents about coping with a fallen child? How does this affect parents and how do they deal with it? What are we to do when it happens? Is there any hope when your child has fallen away?
I. THE EFFECT OF A WAYWARD CHILD ON PARENTS AND FAMILY.
A. The Burden of Guilt, Regret, and Shame.
1. “What did I do wrong? What did I fail to do?”
a. Self-examination is important, 2 Cor. 13:5. Sometimes parents share guilt in a child’s departure from God, Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21.
b. Sometimes, parents beat themselves up looking for answers.
2. This can cause doubt, depression, and weakened faith. (Satan)
B. Sometimes, the Burden of Being Judged Harshly (Unjustly) by Brethren Happens (1 Cor. 4:4-5).
1. “Failed to train, discipline,”
Prov. 22:6. Maybe, but not always.
2. Misuse of
Prov. 22:6 burdens good parents by condemning
the innocent. (Don’t excuse bad parenting; Be
careful with God’s word.)
3. God nurtured Adam and Eve, yet they fell. God nurtured Israel, yet rebelled, Hosea 11:1-4; Isa. 1:2-3; Jer. 2:29-30.
II. WHY DO CHILDREN OF FAITHFUL CHRISTIANS FALL AWAY?
A. Free Moral Agency, Rom. 7:7-11. (Parents can do the right things and the child can still make wrong, sinful choices, Gal. 6:5.)
1. Were Saul’s parents to be blamed when he sinned?
2. Adam and Eve used their free will and sinned, Gen. 3:6.
3. Satan entices our children just like he did them, James 1:13-14.
a. Entices may include the impact of others on our children (friends, spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, teacher, etc.)
b. Warning given child, Prov. 4:1-4; but then 4:14-15 – Possible to go astray despite being taught. (cf. Ps. 1:1-2)
c. Good morals instilled in a child can be corrupted, 1 Cor. 15:33.
4. Righteous father has an unrighteous son; Who’s to blame, the righteous father or the unrighteous son? Ezek. 18:5-9, 10-13
5. The sinner can return to the right way, Ezek. 18:30-32.
III. THE PAIN OF THE WAYWARD CHILD.
A. Because You Know (See) Their Spiritual Death (cf. death of child).
1. Always in the back of your mind; Deeply affecting (2 Sam. 18:33).
2. Memories can haunt. Always looking, waiting, longing, Luke 15:20.
3. Hurts family unity (different faith, values, etc.; Holidays . . . ).
B. What To Do With the Pain.
1. Turn to the Lord; Don’t turn on each other (father and mother), Phil. 4:6-7.
2. Agree to handle the situation (God’s way).
3. Don’t hide the truth (embarrassment, shame, etc.). Brethren undergoing similar trials can help you, and vice versa (Gal. 6:2).
IV. HOW DO I DEAL WITH AN UNFAITHFUL CHILD?
-Sort out what is in your control and what is not.
A. Church Discipline Must Be Respected and Obeyed, 1 Cor. 5:4-5, 11-13; 2 Thess. 3:6, 14-15 (love disciplines, Heb. 12:5-7).
1. Discipline is painful, but necessary, Hosea 11:8-9.
2. “I will always love you, but there are things I cannot support and participate in with you” (2 Thess. 3:14-15); Doesn’t mean I don’t love you.
3. Exhaust opportunities trying to bring back your child, Amos 4.
4. Respect God’s lines (truth) while conveying readiness to help them return to the Lord (2 Thess. 3:15).
B. Continue to Trust and Hope in the Lord, cf. Luke 15:20.
1. Do not underestimate the power of prayer. (Not always answered immediately or in our lifetime, but wait on the Lord.)
2. Remain calm when talking with your child about their sin. May be met with rejection/attacks. Will likely often blame you, the church, and family for their decisions, troubles, and separation.
3. Biblical comfort and support, 1 Pet. 5:7.
a. God understands what it is like to have unfaithful children.
b. God can forgive in amazing ways (cf. message of Hosea).
c. Be willing to show mercy and forgiveness (Luke 15:20-24).
d. God wants our unfaithful children to return home to Him and to you, 2 Pet. 3:9.
Conclusion
1. Don’t give up; God doesn’t! Hosea 11:10-11; 14:1-4, 8-9
2. Do what you can do to help them return to God, always praying.
3. Don’t chase after them. Be patient in the Lord.
4. Determine to be faithful to the Lord even if your children choose to be unfaithful to Him (Josh. 24:15).
a. Draw closer to God and cling to Him in faith.
b. When the turbulent waters rise (and they will), you must be anchored to the Lord, or Satan will sweep you away along with your children.
5. Jesus promises His peace (not as the world gives) as you remain faithful to Him, John 14:27.
Source: "Coping with an Unfaithful Child," Truth on Wheels (Don Blackwell and B. J. Clark).
By: Joe R. Price
Posted: August 28, 2024