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Scripture Reading:  Proverbs 2:10-17


Dating:  The Protection of Purity (#1)

(If you love Me, you will follow Me)



1.  We will be talking about real life:  “It would be nice to have a lesson on self-control and discuss lust and appropriate relationship affection for pre-marital couples.”  (Not just a young person problem!)

2.  Parents & older brethren:  We are charged by God’s word to be teaching our children/young Christians about these things (Tit. 2:3-4; Eph. 6:5).

   a.  Young people need to listen, respect & learn God’s will on this subject, Prov. 7:1-5.

   b.  Young people:  This kind of teaching is designed to help protect your heart!  (Psa. 119:9; Prov. 4:23; 1 Pet. 5:8)

3.  Three people to be concerned about when you date:  God, the other person & yourself.  You must please God in all things (2 Cor. 5:9) Rom. 12:1; Col. 3:1.

4.  The world’s view & God’s view on dating are vastly different:


World’s view produces…

God’s view produces…

Sin & regret

Purity & holiness



Bitterness & damages godly relationships

Safe, secure, godly relationships  (Psa. 127:1)

Passing pleasure, no lasting satisfaction (Heb. 11:25)

Solid foundation for the future  (happiness in marriage)


  a.  World says:  “If it feels good, do it” (Epicureans, 1 Cor. 15:32).

  b.  God says:  Flee youthful lusts & protect your purity, 2 Tim. 2:22.

5.  Dating is a new experience that God wants you to enjoy in purity, with responsibility, Eccl. 11:9-10; 1 Jno. 3:3.

6.  Lesson on self-control, lust & appropriate relationship affection for pre-marital couples. 





   -(Pre-marital & extra-marital sexual conduct is the ultimate act of selfishness.)

  A.  What are you Talking About?  (Defining some terms)

    1.  Self-control:  “the virtue of one who masters his desires and passions, esp. his sensual appetites” OLB; Gal. 5:23Keep your heart:  Pursue righteousness (right decisions) from a pure heart, 2 Tim. 2:22.

    2.  Lust, Col. 3:5 (evil desire:  “desire, craving, longing, desire for what is forbidden, lust”).

      a.  What are you thinking?  Looking at?  Why?  For how long?  (Job 31:1; Matt. 5:28) – Mind is corrupted!

      b.  Animal desires (“let nature take its course”); cf. “hand check” on band trips.

    3.  Lewdness (lasciviousness), Rom. 13:13; Gal. 5:19 (Mk. 7:21-23; 1 Pet. 4:3).

      a.  “Unbridled lust, excess, licentiousness…shamelessness…wanton (acts or) manners, as filthy words, indecent bodily movements, unchaste handling of males & females, etc.” (Thayer, 79-80)

      b.  MTV, Saturday Night Live, cyber-porn, monologues…

      c.  Bodily caressing, fondling, etc. (cf. Gen. 26:8); Arousal of sexual desires.

      d.  Do you encourage lust & lascivious conduct by what you wear?  (Parents, teach & monitor modest clothing of our children.)

    4.  Fornication, 1 Cor. 6:18; Gal. 5:19, 21.

      a.  Outside of marriage, defilement of sex, Heb. 13:4.

      b.  Fondling, etc. (lasciviousness) is the prelude…prepares the mind & body for intercourse. 

      c.  Homosexual behavior (a choice).

  B.  Do you know the Difference between Lust & Love?

      -Lust is selfish & pleases self (often at the expense of the others); love is unselfish; it pleases God & the other person.

    1.  Lust is based on what she/he is, 1 Jno. 2:16; Matt. 5:28; Prov. 6:25.

      a.  Society puts so much emphasis on the outward appearance:  Sends the wrong message to young people about respect, love & morality, 1 Pet. 3:3-4.

      b.  Based on the flesh/outward (SS 7:1-9, Solomon’s lust for girl).

    2.  Love is based on who she/he is, Prov. 31:30 (10-12); SS 5:8-16.

      a.  Pre-marital sex is not love – it is the dishonoring of the body in the fulfillment of sinful lusts, Rom. 1:24; 1 Cor. 6:13.

      b.  Sex is not love; purity of sex is an intimate expression of love between husband & wife in their God-approved marriage, 1 Cor. 7:2; Heb. 13:4 (honor, cherish, etc.); 1 Cor. 13:4-8.

  C.  What will Lust, Lasciviousness & Fornication Cost Me?  Eccl. 11:9; Num. 32:23; Prov. 13:15 (soul, happiness, peace of mind)

    1.  Cost your soul (Matt. 16:26).

    2.  Cost your innocence, reputation, peace of mind & self-respect (Acts 23:1).

      a.  cf. Hotel California:  “You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.”  You will never be the same!  (House of the Rising Sun) – Burden & bondage of sin.

      b.  You can repent & be forgiven; you can be purified (1 Cor. 6:9-10; 1 Jno. 1:9).

      c.  The regret, loss of innocence & the loss of influence remains.

    3.  Cost your life (STD’s; unwanted pregnancies, regrets, etc.).



1.  Can you live with the consequences of pre-marital / extra-marital sex?  (Heb. 12:15)

  a.  Some do, but are you willing to pay the price? 

  b.  Sow to the flesh and reap corruption!  Gal. 6:7-8)

2.  Nobody can live with God while fulfilling the lusts of the flesh, Gal. 5:16-17, 24-25 (Rom. 8:5-8).  So, put it to death, Col. 3:5.

3.  Are you the answer of a parent’s prayer for the person their child will meet?  You can be God’s answer to a parent’s prayer by protecting yourself with purity.


To be continued...