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Scripture Reading: Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Building Trust in Your Marriage
1. Trust is key to a success marriage (security, intimacy, openness, communication), Gen. 2:23-25.
2. One of the Old Testament words for trust (batach) has a meaning of strong confidence or assurance in someone or something; “to set one’s hope and confidence upon any one...to fear nothing for oneself” (Gesenius). “When you trust your spouse, you feel so safe that you are careless—or free of concern—with him or her. You don't have to hide who you are or be self-protective.” (“Building Trust,” John Townsend)
3. Partnership of marriage, forged in trust, brings protection, security and strength to your God-ordained relationship, Eccl. 4:9-12.
I. BUILDING TRUST IN YOUR MARRIAGE. Prov. 31:10-12
A. Four Essentials for Building/Maintaining Trust in Marriage.
1. Reliability. “Actions speak louder than words.” “When you are reliable, you follow through on what you promise and you stand behind your word. It’s pretty hard to trust someone who seldom follows through on their word” (“Marriage and Trust: 4 Building Blocks of Trust and Intimacy,” Dr. Richard Nicastro).
a. Speak the truth, Eph. 4:25.
b. Listen with intent, Jas. 1:19-20.
c. Do what you say you will do, cf. Jas. 4:17.
2. Commitment. (“forsaking all others”)
a. Includes mutual respect and mutual service, Eph. 5:33 (22-29).
b. Endurance (“for better and for worse”), Vow, Eccl. 5:4-6.
3. Consistency. Grows out of reliability. Familiar and predictable. “Someone who is inconsistent might act very loving one day, indifferent the next, then withdrawn and uncaring in a different setting.” (Ibid) cf. 2 Cor. 1:18-19
4. Acceptance. (“with this ring, I thee wed”)
“Of course this doesn’t mean you have to like every single personality trait of your mate. You may dislike the fact that he resembles a horse when he chews his food, but when you practice acceptance, you’ve come to grips with the complicated reality that two fallible people are trying to make a relationship work.” 1 Pet. 3:7; cf. Gen. 2:18, 23
B. Character Traits and Actions that Solidify these Essentials.
1. Righteousness, cf. Isa. 32:17-18. Pursue it in marriage, 2 Tim. 2:22.
2. Heart qualities of Christ, Col. 3:12-15. Compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering, forbearance, forgiveness, love, peace, Col. 3:18-19; 1 Pet. 3:1-7.
3. Priority of faith, Matt. 6:33; Josh. 24:15. Leadership and submissive support. Mutual faith and obedience, Lk. 9:62; cf. 1 Cor. 7:12-15.
II. DAMAGING AND DESTROYING TRUST IN YOUR MARRIAGE.
A. Infidelity. Prov. 6:30-35
1. Defiles the most intimate part of marriage; trust evaporates, security disappears, love is foolishly sinned against. Prov. 5:7-14
2. The companion sin of deceit (lies) destroys trust.
B. Publicly Ridiculing Your Spouse.
1. Demonstrates disrespect, cf. 1 Pet. 3:4-6. (Divest spouse of self-respect, dignity and value in your eyes, and the eyes of others.)
a. The form of comparing your spouse to others (cf. “ex’s”)
b. The form of teasing your spouse. (cf. appearance)
c. The form of criticizing your spouse. (cf. ability, aptitude)
d. The form of minimizing your spouse. (cf. “Ugly and dumb”)
2. Damages all four essentials for trust. This is a power play to dominate your mate, Matt. 7:12.
C. Selfishness. Eph. 5:22-25.
-Selfishness prevents the wife and the husband from fulfilling their God-given responsibilities.
1. The security of marriage is built upon trust; The confidence husbands and wives have in each other to help, and not harm, one another; To be truly “bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh.” (one)
2. Can your spouse trust you to be trustworthy in your marriage? Can the Lord trust you to be trustworthy in your marriage? Prov. 5:21-23
By: Joe R. Price
Posted: April 6, 2017