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Scripture Reading: 1 John 4:7-11

Love Hurts



1.  God, who is love and who loved us, commands and compels us to love one another, 1 Jno. 4:7-11.

2.  Love is more than a feeling; Love does not always feel good.

3.  Yet, people expect love to always feel good. That's because they do not accurately and Biblically define love (agape: seeks what is best for others, active goodwill, sacrificial and selfless).

4.  We are to walk in love as Christ loved us, Eph. 5:1-2.

5.  A trait of love that is rarely discussed is that it often does not feel good. In fact, love hurts. It is hard (difficult) to love as God has loved us.



  A.  When You Decide to Follow Jesus, Mk. 10:17-22.

    1.  Personal loss to gain Christ, Phil. 3:7-8.

      a.  The sword of the Spirit divides, Matt. 10:34-37.

      b.  The cross of Christ hurts, Matt. 10:38.

    2.  Sorrowful pain of repentance, Acts 2:37-38 (2 Cor. 7:9).

    3.  Resistance from former friends and allies in sin, 1 Pet. 4:4-5.

  B.  When a Parent Corrects a Child, Prov. 13:24; Heb. 12:11.

"Learning that molds character and enforces correct behavior; from a Latin word meaning “instruction” or “training.” To discipline a person or a group means to put them in a state of good order so that they function in the way intended."[1]

    1.  God used corrective discipline (that hurt) upon Israel, Prov. 3:11-12; Lev. 26:14-15, 16-45 (23).

    2.  Love disciplines: Educates and corrects/punishes, Heb. 12:5-10.

      a.  Early, Prov. 13:24.

      b.  Fairly and consistently, Prov. 19:18.

      c.  With correct motives, Prov. 22:15.

      d.  To instill wisdom and drive out shamefulness, Prov. 29:15.

    3.  Warned not to withhold corrective discipline, Prov. 23:13-14.

  C.  When a Church Corrects Sin, 1 Cor. 5:4-5, 11-13; 2 Ths. 3:6, 14-15.

    1.  The church that consistently and Scripturally applies God's correction show obedience in all things, 2 Cor. 2:9.

    2.  Corrective discipline tests our love (obedience).

  D.  When You Try to Restore a Fallen Christian, Gal. 6:1-2.

    1.  Because rebuking sin is never joyous (express strong disapproval and give a warning), 2 Tim. 4:2.

    2.  You may be judged as hurtful, unloving and judgmental for addressing known and unrepented sin, Acts 8:20-24.

  E.  When You Try to Save the Lost, cf. Jude 22-23.

    1.  Fearing men is a temptation, cf. 1 Cor. 2:2-3; Acts 18:4-10 (9-10).

    2.  Some will hate you for loving them, and that hurts.

  F.  When You Work to Resolve Conflict, Matt. 5:23-25.

    1.  Whether with brethren or with family, Phil. 4:2-3; Gen. 13:8-9.

    2.  Some will question your motives (love) and refuse your effort. Keep trying - that's what love does - even though it hurts.

  G.  When You Rebuke and Correct Error with God's Word, 1 Cor. 4:9-13.

    1.  cf. Paul, 2 Cor. 2:4; 11:11 (8-11); 12:13, 15-16.

    2.  Paul exemplifies the unselfishness and selflessness of love, 2 Cor. 12:14-17 (15).

    3.  One who tells you the truth is not your enemy, Gal. 4:16.                             

  H.  When You Living an Enduring Faith, Luke 21:12-19.



  A.  We are Tempted to become Selfish, Apathetic and Inactive: The Opposite of Love, 1 Cor. 13:4-8.

    1.  It hurts to lay down our lives for our brethren, 1 Jno. 3:16-18.

    2.  It hurts not to keep company with rebellious Christian, 1 Cor. 5:11.

    3.  It hurts to let go of bitterness, hurt, anger, resentment and pride that keep us from forgiving and fostering unity in Christ, Eph. 4:31-32. (These become our reasons for not loving - "they hurt me"!)

    4.  It hurts to work at good relations with those with whom they should already (and always) exist, 2 Cor. 12:15.

  B.  We are Thankful God did not Refuse to Love Us, Rom. 5:6-8.

    1.  He had every just reason not to love us.

    2.  Jesus is and defines the love we must have, even when it hurts to love.



1.  We are under commandment to love one another "as I have love you" (Jno. 13:34-35). It announces and affirms we are disciples of Jesus.

2.  "This is love, that we walk according to His commandments. This is the commandment, that as you have heard from the beginning, you should walk in it" (2 Jno. 6).


[1] Elwell, W. A., & Beitzel, B. J. (1988). In Baker Encyclopedia of the Bible (p. 631). Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House.



By: Joe R. Price

Posted: June 30, 2015